The things that people do for someone who is almost a complete stranger to them is fascinating and the way they care about those strangers is also equally fascinating. I am overwhelmed already by the amount of people coming to my baby shower. I feel terrible that people are spending money on gifts and to throw the shower but at the same time I am in awe at the fact that we are all getting ready for this little Pip that we don't even know if we will like! ;-)
Anyway, my point is that I amazed at myself and the love I feel for this creature that is really a pain in the arse. So far, he kicks me, hangs out in my ribs all day, has caused me to gain an crazy amount of weight, and gives me the most excruciating back pain I have ever felt. So far, I love him more than I ever knew it was possible to love someone, let alone someone I don't even know.
So I found myself in a terrified wreck on Monday at Hopkins. I am not one for dramatics and I am not one to get worked up over things easily. I think those of you who know me know that I am a pretty calm person. I can blame it on the ultrasound tech's completely asshat bedside manner or that I was tired because we were partying all weekend for Jacob's birthday, but the truth is that I was a wreck on Monday because Pip means more to me than life itself, and. apparently, I am a mom so when I think something is wrong with him, I get freaked.
Although I am told it isn't much to worry about and I am trying to believe the doctors on both sides of the state line, there is some concern going on in this body of mine. The amino fluid is low it's at 7.1 and I imagine that it should be at 10 but the doctor here assured me that if it goes down to 5 is the time I should worry. Not now. Pip is kicking fine and everything looked good to the people in Baltimore, but then when the doctor up here read the sonogram reports he was concerned about Pip's growth, or lack thereof. In April his growth was at 60%, May 50% and here in July is at 29%. He couldn't even stay at 30%! The doctor told me again that there is nothing to worry about yet. That if it was at 10% then he would be concerned. And if it got to that point I would be injected with steroids - twice- to bump up Pip's lung development. His head is the smallest part of him right now and his belly is the biggest. My mom said that that is what the doctors said about Levi. He called Levi a Buddha. Pip can be a Buddha, too, if he wants. Dann and I are pretty peaceful people so surely our baby would be a peaceful person as well.
Today I will go for another ultrasound up here in Scranton. Just to double check, just in case there were technical issues, or asshatish issues, that made the readings incorrect. I know that is a long shot, but considering how idiotic the people at Hopkins have been with this pregnancy, maybe it's not as long as a shot as we think.
I've also made my first "motherly" decision. I am not going back to Hopkins for this baby. Dr. Kelley okayed the choice and said that he was much more impressed with the doctors up here than he was with the OB down there. The icing on the cake was when my appointment was canceled AGAIN on Monday, when I was already in Baltimore. I had an appointment with Dr. Kelley that afternoon as well. When I told him that they canceled again he said "well then that decision is made for us already"- little did he know that I already told the OB office where to go and how to get there. Kelley said that there are some things that Hopkins is great for and other things not so much. Dealing with me having a baby is not one of them. Maybe if I had a different OB there it would be okay but I didn't like him and he wasn't impressing Kelley very much either.
It is decided that I will have a C-Section. There is great relief in that. The neurologist that I met with almost a month ago said there would be no way I could deliver a baby naturally - even assisted. My muscles just aren't up to par. Dr. D at Physician Health Alliance wants to schedule the Section soon. He would like to wait until 39 weeks unless the MFM doctor, Dr. Kraus, thinks it should be earlier. Last time we spoke Dr. K said 36 weeks but that was before Pip decided to attempt to be a runt. We will see today I guess.
So as usual, we are requesting all good juju, positive vibes, prayers, even good witches and their voodoo dolls to send some positive things our way.
